State of the dallas address
July 20, 2025
a little status update. going to try to make less strange & depressing posts because it's kind of embarrassing and serves no real purpose but wanted to do a little check in just for posterity, or whatever
yeah things are mostly the same as theyve been, kinda rapidly oscillating between brief periods of feeling okay and horrible depressive periods
sleep schedule is a little better in the sense that im getting to bed at a much more reasonable time. bad news is im averaging like 4 - 6 hours of sleep and keep waking up at midnight for no discernible reason
keep falling back into a state where i just obsessively think about everything that's fucked in the world and am incapable of deriving pleasure from anything. i feel like a little kid, just desperately searching for anything that can make me happy or at least not feel like shit for 1 fucking moment. trying to distract myself. the only thing thats really consistently been working for me is marijuana and ive been in a pretty bad cycle of using basically every other day (which im trying to get out of but its difficult when youre miserable every second youre sober)
i mentioned yesterday that ive also been questioning if i have adhd or not??? which i will have to bring up to my therapist. my brother and sister both do so the chance that i also have it is... greater than zero
really trying to put a conscious effort into drawing more and trying to get over my insane perfectionism
worried about my future & the future of the planet & literally cannot stop thinking about it
I'm more or less out of money. I have found a place that might hire me but i'm scared they either 1. won't hire me or 2. won't keep me on long and i'll be back where i was
Ahhhhh well
Will try to update site more, finish backlog of gallery shit, maybe add some new fun things to the site. Thinking about making more fanpages, the little dr sloth page is dumb but was fun to make. A lot of other people on the site have such "shrines" or fanpages
